Sunday TV

Bree finally sends Andrew packing

Woke up this morning, got myself a gun…
because gas prices are out of control. Not that this hasn’t come to my attention in recent months (or years for that matter) but the point really hit home when I was watching “The Sopranos” with my brother’s girlfriend and while we watched the opening credits (which never get old, considering I’m a Jersey native) she screamed out “Holy crap! Look at how much the gas is!” After a couple of Tivo rewinds, we noticed the gas was something like 99 cents. Gas has gone up 200% since the show began in 1999. Now that I think about it, I don’t remember it ever being 99 cents. I’m only bringing this up because The Sopranos sucked so badly last night there isn’t much to write about. Well, except the fact that Cristafuh found himself back on heroin, with a new girlfriend who he got pregnant, married and bought a house for all within the space of one episode. I’m assuming that by next week he’ll be putting the future mafioso into kindergarten.

The Ick Factor…
Andrew Van de Kamp really crossed a line this week on Desperate Housewives. I’m not talking about sleeping with his mother’s sex-addicted boyfriend (which was pretty reprehensible). No. I’m talking about his earlier conversation with his sister, who he initially was trying to get to sleep with said sex-addict. “Strip down to your bra and panties…now.” Eeewww. That has got to be the creepiest exchange between brother and sister I have ever seen. Thank god bratty Danielle had enough sense to refuse; otherwise I would have had to change the channel. And I was happy to see that after all these months, after all of Andrew’s conniving plots to “bring down” his mother, Bree finally had enough. Finally. It wasn’t the smack-down I was hoping for, but that probably would have just fueled Andrew’s fire. Bree was simply too exhausted emotionally for another confrontation and dropped the evil spawn off in the middle of nowhere. But of course it’s not the last we’ve seen of Baby Boy Andrew.

Alfre Woodward finally did some work for her paycheck, showing up for a couple of scenes in Sunday’s episode. Betty Applewhite finally figured out that it’s her son Matthew, not Caleb, who’s the one in need of some “grounding”. So what does she do? Lock Matthew in the basement. Seems to be her answer to everything. How is she going to explain that Matthew is gone, but the son no one knew she had is just sitting around in her kitchen eating poison ice cream? And now that the whole Van de Kamp family knows her secret and there are bound to be other people looking for her, why is she still living on Wisteria Lane? Hello??? Won’t it be a matter of time before Gabrielle notices that Betty’s “new” son is the one who allegedly attacked her, causing her to lose her baby? Get out of town Betty! How many lives do you have to ruin???

If there is anyone out there who didn’t see the Xiao Mei/surrogate story coming a mile away, then you need to get your eyes checked. I love Gabrielle’s concern over Xiao Mei being deported and being forced to be someone’s slave when really she’s just worried she’s going to lose her own personal sweat shop. And trying to explain to Xiao Mei the intricacies of surrogacy “I’m the dough, and Carlos is the pork, and you’re the oven!” was priceless. Even if Xiao Mei gets preggers with the future Solis baby, I don’t think it will be smooth sailing ahead.

It seems on the surface that Tom and Lynette have a great marriage. For about five minutes. If you ask me, Tom’s a wuss. A complainer. A baby. Blah blah blah. Shut up idiot, and have a seat- we’re done talking to you. And Lynette is no better. First she gets Tom fired from his job, then due to a little “harmless” internet chat with her boss’ wife (who thinks she’s having a little “naughty” chat with her husband) inadvertently gets him fired from that job as well. Then, to top it all off, the boss informs Lynette that it looks like Tom’s been having a little hanky-panky in Atlantic City, in the form of hotel rooms and flower bills. Ever heard of cash, Tom? It leaves no trace, you idiot. And to use the company card? Hello? I once used my corporate Amex to buy a $9.99 t-shirt at the Gap and got the third degree. Why is this idiot using the company card as a means for whatever it is he’s got going on in Atlantic City- especially when his wife works at the company and is his boss? Not the sharpest tool in the woodshed. But I have a feeling the secret charges are not what they appear to be (is anything what it appears to be on Wisteria Lane?) and will somehow tie in to the statement Tom made about 300 episodes ago when he told his father that he did something terrible and hopes Lynette never finds out, or something to that effect. I was wondering when that plotline would come back.

And finally, Susan. It wouldn’t be Sunday night without Susan having the opportunity to make an ass of herself, as she did with the postman (hello Mr. Treeger, the super from “Friends”!). After mailing Edie a confession about her rendezvous with Carl, Susan learns Mike has paid off the detective trailing her and Edie will never know just who it was Carl left her for. So Susan invites Mr. Treeger in, and stupidly sends him upstairs to use the bathroom so she can steal the letter out of the mailbag. Only Mr. Treeger thinks Susan wants to have sex with him. This plot feels an awful lot like the common “misunderstanding” from “Three’s Company”. Then, to make matters worse, Julie comes home, sees the letter to Edie in Susan’s pile of mail and puts it back in the mailbag. So Edie gets the letter and goes postal (pun intended). Practically skipping through Susan’s house, Edie drowns each room in some sort of flammable substance, setting the whole damn house ablaze. A little extreme, no? Look for Susan, who has nowhere to go, to move in with, um…who…could…it…be…Mike! This poor guy has had nothing to do this year except beat up Susan’s new boyfriends. He needs a storyline, no matter how forced an attempt it will be to reunite him with Susan.

Whore-able words…

Dr. Derek Shepard
Seattle Grace Hospital
Seattle, WA

Dear Dr. Shepard,

I am writing you this letter because I feel there are some things you need to know. First of all, you love Meredith Grey. The sooner you accept this, the easier things will be for everyone. Second, let me fill you in on a little something my mother once told me: You can’t have your cake and eat it too. At six, this made no sense to me. But for you, with all of your medical degrees and your standing as the country’s leading neurosurgeon, this should need no explanation. Third, here are some words of wisdom from good old dad: Shit or get off the pot. Again, hopefully no explanation needed. Derek, (if I may call you that), you made the decision to work things out with your glamazon surgeon wife. So try to do that. Leave Meredith alone. I know it bothered you when she slept with George. It bothered all of us. Not the best judgment call on her part, but we all make mistakes and she is paying for it. Then when your former best friend who slept with your wife shows up, it hardly registers with you that he is pressuring her to leave you once again because he still loves her. You must have been in surgery or something. But you definitely noticed when he barely smiled at Meredith and you sucker punched him onto the floor. Shame on you for bruising McSteamy. When you got over that, you decided you wanted to be her “friend”. She could tell you anything. This worked for a while. But then you found her at Dr. Vet McYummy’s place in just McYummy’s t-shirt. Uh-Oh. Suddenly, you turned into Dr. McPricky. You accused Meredith of sleeping around, using meaningless sex to solve her problems. Yes, Meredith is far from virginal, but you crossed the line. A big, red, blinking line with the words “Step Back” written in neon across it. “You have no right to call me a whore”, Meredith said to you. And I hate to admit this, but she’s right. You, married to your wife, who you chose over Meredith, who you so obviously still care about, have no right calling her a whore. You’re the whore, my friend. So until you decide to break it off with Addison once and for all, leave Meredith and McYummy alone. Take the dog to another vet. Turn the other way when you see her coming down the corridor. Because until the writers decide otherwise, you’re stuck with Addison. So get over it.


************************************
Be sure to check out the links to the right for some new movie trailers, including the much awaited sequel to Titanic!