It's Splitsville- What a Shocker...

The NY Post reported today that, yes, Travis and Sarah have split. Seems they never even got together to begin with...

March 8, 2006 -- As suspected, the most re cent "Bachelor" and his kindergarten-teacher sweetheart are over in record time. Seems emergency-room doctor Travis Stork and teacher Sarah Stone never even got started after they returned from Paris to Nashville - where both lived. Travis blamed the show for their failure to launch. Because the show forbade the couple to see each other from the end of taping in November until the final broadcast in February, the promised romance never materialized, he told a local newspaper. "The reality is that we were in this fantasy world" in Paris, he said. "And now that we're back in Nashville, over time when you're not allowed to see someone, you grow apart." The couple said they had just one date - last Sunday night when they got together to discuss how to tell the outside world that they had not hooked up after all.

You know, its easy for Travis and Sarah to blame "The Bachelor" franchise, but do they have a point? ABC creates a fantasy world where its easy to get swept up in the mansions, gourmet meals, champagne, romantic excursions and boiling hot tubs. You get the final rose, a diamond ring (albeit on a chain) and the promise of everlasting love. Then, they separate you for four months. Hello! Even the most nutty-in-love characters would start to lose a little interest. How do they expect romance to bloom if they can't even see each other? And these two were ONE MILE AWAY from each other. Not across the country. They couldn't sneak out incognito or meet in another city? It's frustrating, people. If ABC plans to do another installment of "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" (though I doubt it), here's a thought. Do it in real time. Those editing wizards you have should be able to keep up the pace. Then maybe you won't have such a poor track record with your "love" matches. I'm just saying...

And the Oscar Goes to...

Golden Girl and Oscar winner, Reese Witherspoon


Well friends, sorry this is late, but I’m a little hung over. Had a big bachelorette party Saturday night. And I’m still hurting. God it sucks getting old. Anyway, not much to report about the Oscars. That’s because it was kind of boring. Fashion was boring, acceptance speeches were boring, and the winners were boring (or at least predictable). And I think it may have been the longest Academy Awards ceremony in the history of television (clocking in at a little over three and a half hours). This is why TIVO is a beautiful thing- I recorded the show and did not start watching until after 9PM. Which means, I was able to fast forward through the commercials and most of the boring acceptance speeches (so, no, I have no idea what the winner of Best Sound had to say). So here are my “TIVO HIGHLIGHTS” of the 78th Annual Academy Awards:

George Clooney wins Best Supporting Actor for Syriana. My man came through. Besides Best Picture, this was the only category I was a little iffy about. I was sorry I had to choose between Clooney and my other pick, Paul Giamatti. I love them both. But Clooney prevailed. And he was dead on when he said “I guess this means I’m not winning Best Director.” Funny and Hot. Now George and I just need to figure out where we’re going to put the award. Either the villa in Italy or the manse in Beverly Hills. Decisions, decisions…

Montages. Note to Oscar Producer: STOP WITH THE MONTAGES. This is why your show ran half an hour over schedule. Now, I’m an avid movie buff and I didn’t care about the history of film noir, or actors who played real people, so I hardly think Harry in Toledo who was forced into watching the show with his wife Adele really cares about them either.

Ben Stiller presenting Best Visual Effects. This bit started out funny (Stiller in a “green suit” mocking the technology of “green screen”) but it went on a little too long. Know when to quit, Ben.

Philip Seymour Hoffman wins Best Actor. I knew he would win. He knew he would win. Everyone in the Kodak Theater knew he would win. But Hoffman was still genuinely surprised and gave a terrific “shout out” to his mama saying, “She brought up four kids alone, and she deserves a congratulations for that''. Awwww….

The Oscar for Best Presenters goes to…Meryl Street and Lily Tomlin, who presented director Robert Altman with his Honorary Oscar. These two ladies had such terrific chemistry together as they ad-libbed and talked over one another in the dialogue style Robert Altman’s movies are known for. Funny, funny…

On second thought…I also enjoyed Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell giving out the Oscar for Best Makeup. Was it me, or did they look especially pretty?

Best Point of the Night. Jon Stewart said it best: “Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars; Three 6 Mafia, one.” What’s even sadder is that this is identical to what Steve Martin said in 2003 when Eminem won for Best song. So the point is valid, but Stewart needs to update his jokes.

Quick Thinking Award Goes to…Jennifer Garner. Garner tripped, then sailed a bit, looking like she might wipe out. But she quickly caught herself and said “I do all my own stunts.” Nice catch, Jen.

Most Disappointing Award. Rachel Weisz for Best Supporting Actress. Nothing against Weisz, but this is usually the category where the Academy surprises you (Marisa Tomei, Anna Paquin), so I was hoping that Amy Adams would get the award for Junebug. But Wiesz, who has won almost every other award for this role, snagged the Oscar too. Which probably means she deserved it. But it would have been nice to mix it up a bit (I’m just saying…)

Reese Witherspoon wins for Best Actress. Don’t you just love her? I mean even though she’s beautiful, married well, has the two cutest kids on the planet and makes like $25 million dollars a movie, she still seems to be down to earth and un-fazed by it all. She’s like one big jar of sunshine. Seriously.

Biggest Surprise. Crash wins for Best Picture! The biggest Best Picture surprise since Shakespeare in Love beat Saving Private Ryan in 1999. And that was only due to Harvey Weinstein’s sinister marketing campaign (which I believe he is still being investigated for- I kid because I love, Harv). But once Crash won the top prize at the SAG Awards, the game was on and it was anybody’s guess which film would win. Brokeback Mountain was good, but Crash was great and it deserved the Oscar.

Fashion Hits and Misses. Bright colors prevailed- Salma Hayek and Jada Pinkett Smith in blues, Michelle Williams in bright yellow and Jennifer Lopez in green chiffon. Golden girls Jessica Alba, Uma Thurman and Jennifer Garner looked great. Keira Knightley in burgundy Vera Wang looked gorgeous. Reese Witherspoon made sure her dress was vintage and never worn by Kiersten Dunst (and she looked beautiful). But Jennifer Aniston played it safe and boring in black and Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts looked washed out in ivory. But the biggest gaffe of the night was Charlize Theron in olive green Christian Dior. What was she thinking? Charlize almost always looks stunning, but this years dress looked like something from a bad music video in the mid eighties. Oh well, Charlize, there’s always next year…