A Super Bowl wrap up…from the girl who doesn’t care about football...

Last night I went to my first Super Bowl party in probably ten years. Truth is, I’d rather be home watching a Lifetime movie marathon in my jammies than watching a football game. Or doing my taxes. Or having root canal. You get the picture.

But, Boyfriend is a HUGE football fan. And, as I am learning, an integral part of a successful relationship is compromise. Boyfriend wanted me to watch with him, so watch I did. The problem is I don’t understand the game of football. The 50 yard line, penalty kick, first and ten, it’s all Greek to me. And at this point in my life, I don’t think I have any more room in my brain to comprehend it all. Boyfriend has tried to explain it to me, bless his heart. But halfway through his explanation, I begin making mental notes to myself: pick up dry cleaning, I need milk, etc. What can I say, I have adult ADD.

Boyfriend was rooting for the Indianapolis Colts (ok here proves my point- I just had to verify with someone if the Colts are, in fact, from Indianapolis. Hey, at least I remember their name) so he was happy with the outcome and what makes him happy makes me happy. His bets paid off and he won some money and with my birthday coming up, that makes me really happy. It was a pretty good night for a Super Bowl amateur- here are my favorite play-by-plays as the night progressed:


5:45 PM The coach of the Chicago Bears is named Lovie Smith. This instantly reminds me of Mrs. "Lovey" Howell from “Gilligan’s Island” and I make a mental note to TIVO Gilligan and the gang.

5:52 PM What’s up with the circus freaks on the field? Is this part of the game?

6:18 PM Billy Joel sings the national anthem. If only Elton John were doing the halftime show, we’d have a nice little concert on our hands.

6:20 PM Commercial for the new Eddie Murphy movie, Norbit. Some people think the overexposure of Eddie’s new comedy will hurt his Oscar chances. I think it only cements the fact that Eddie is a talented chameleon whose praise of late is way overdue. HAAAY HEY…

6:24 PM Dan Marino is still cute. The only reason I recognize Dan Marino is because I’ve seen Ace Venture: Pet Detective.

6:28 PM Game has officially started and some guy grabbed the ball and ran all the way to the end of the field. Is that a touchdown? Boyfriend is not happy…

6:41 PM There is a man in a commercial with a beard comb-over. I do not know what the commercial was for because I am forever haunted by the image of the beard comb-over.

6:59 PM Oprah and Letterman promote “Late Night” as just an ordinary couple watching the Super Bowl. Boyfriend missed it, so you can view it here honey… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNk38QKzZLs

7:05 PM. Bathroom break for me. Text message BFF that I’m still hanging in there…

7:18 PM Cannot grasp the fact that it is pouring rain and there is still a game going on. Think about how depressed I'd be if I traveled all the way to Miami for SB and couldn't go to the beach. That's where my priorities are, folks.

7:36 PM Commercial where giant heart gets attacked by diabetes, a fat guy and cholesterol. The heart looks familiar. Is that Jimmy Olsen??? Is it!! No one cares…

7:40 PM Colts lead 16-14. Making mental list of acceptable birthday presents for boyfriend to buy with his winnings

7:56 PM Explain hand gestures to Prince’s “I Would Die 4 U” to Boyfriend’s friend Bob. He doesn’t think it’s as funny as I do. Sometimes I forget it’s not 1989 anymore

8:07 PM Am the only one in the entire place that knows all the words to “Baby, I’m a Star”. At this point, am only one at party watching Prince.

8:11 PM Prince’s dancers are wearing thigh high boots and dancing in the pouring rain. I decide its time for another Buffalo wing.

8:13 PM Explain to Bob that although Prince is wearing high heels, makeup and some sort of head scarf, he is most definitely straight.

8:15 PM Prince does not perform “I Would Die 4 U”. My self-imposed embarrassment was all in vain.

8:27 PM Casually stroll by buffet table. After I make sure no one is looking, I take another Buffalo wing.

8:40 PM Eagerly awaiting K-Fed’s big Super Bowl commercial.

8:47 PM With his buzz kicking in, Boyfriend demonstrates the hand gestures to “I Would Die 4 U”. Bob is still un-amused.

8:59 PM K-Fed commercial. There is something wrong with this world when I am thoroughly entertained by Kevin Federline. I’m sure somewhere Britney is thinking the same thing.

9:18 PM Peyton Manning is cute. “Does he have a girlfriend?” I ask Boyfriend. “He’s married” he replies. “To who?” I ask. “I don’t know,” Boyfriend replies, looking at me like I’m crazy. I just assume Peyton’s wife/girlfriend is famous ala Tom Brady and Bridget Moynihan or Paris Hilton and the football player she dated for six minutes. I come to realize Boyfriend doesn’t like small talk during the game.

9:42 PM Bob finally masters the hand gestures of “I Would Die 4 U”. Yeah, it’s not that funny.

9:58 PM One minute left on the clock. Everyone is cheering and Boyfriend and Bob are high five-ing each other. But there’s still a minute left!

10:01 PM The Colts have won the Super Bowl! Boyfriend is yelling and acting crazy.

I’m happy for him and I’m also happy football season is over. It will be nice to have Boyfriend all to myself on Sundays. As we gather up our stuff to leave, I hear him and Bob talk about the “Pro Bowl” next Saturday. Huh? Is this a bowling tournament? Is there another sport he’s fanatic about that I’m unaware of? “No honey,” he says as he gives me a squeeze. “It’s the Pro Bowl!” “Pro-Bowl!” he and Bob shout in unison. I wonder if there’s a party for that too…